Author: Greg Parker

Greg Parker

LaDonna

1996 Dodge Stratus 4 door in Gold. What an awful vehicle. I’m not exactly certain why it’s awful but it probably is mostly due to the fact that it was gold and the styling was completely uninspired. However, LaDonna, the Stratus which is the focus of this story was pretty dear to the brewery. LaDonna… Read more »

Greg Parker

How to please your partner and go to the bar

Up to this point, grocery shopping has been more or less an irritating necessity. It will always be a necessity, but it doesn’t have to be irritating. But it usually is and here is why; I don’t make the list and it is freaking chaos. Let’s start with dispensing a possible argument you (the reader)… Read more »

Greg Parker

What Happened Last Year

Food. We added it to [ the pub ]. Thankfully we have a much larger enterprise to float massive losses because that’s what we did at the pub. I knew it was going to be humbling and by god it was. I have always appreciated the hard work that restauranteurs have to put in, but… Read more »

Greg Parker

Van Life

As you may have figured, chronicling our misadventures is one of my favorite past times.  Did the string cheese bandit strike again? As you may or may not have heard, our less-than-pristine 2006 GMC Savana van went missing. It was stolen right off the lot of the brewery while we brewed away. It took us… Read more »

Greg Parker

Give It 85%

It will come as no surprise that this blog looks to upend some conventional wisdom, it’s kind of what we do. Although, I’m not certain that what I am about to question is either conventional or wisdom. I would probably describe it more as idiotic business cheerleading. Although that’s probably not a fair assessment either…. Read more »

Greg Parker

The Story of Mocha Death

Ever wonder where we came up with Mocha Death? You either? Yeah well, who asked you anyway. Whatever year it was I can’t remember but a long time ago we used to make an anniversary beer that was not only for Iron Horse but also for the Beer Shoppe in Yakima, found here and here…. Read more »

Greg Parker

The String Cheese Bandit

String cheese is a bit of a problem at Iron Horse. It wasn’t too long ago that Nicole, who handles events for us, had a string cheese go missing from the break room. I can’t say that I know exactly how she discovered who was responsible, but suffice it to say, she did her due… Read more »

Greg Parker

Why Selling out is still Bad for Indie Brewers

Distribution is going to be central to my rant today. Even in the most mature craft markets, AB, MillerCoors and the rest of the global megaconglomerate corporate breweries make up at least 60% of wholesalers revenue stream. Good job, because I know you just assumed that in most markets those suppliers make up more than… Read more »

Greg Parker

Gar-Bear

My Father. Also known as Gar(prounced gare)-Bear I kind of work with him. He foolishly put a substantial chunk of his life’s earnings on the line by investing in Iron Horse at my suggestion so naturally, he gets a say. I can only imagine two reasons why he would do that and they both boil… Read more »

Greg Parker

Drying out after CBC

The Craft Brewers Conference is a lot of fun. This year it was in Philadelphia to which I had never been to before. I like that city. Much like other cities it offers lots of opportunities for bad choices. My bad choices started Monday night. In case you hadn’t inferred, that means I spent an… Read more »

Greg Parker

America. The beer by AB-Inbev.

America. Bahahahahaha!  Are you serious AB-Inbev, the Brazilian managed Belgian brewer? America. Please tell me in what way your product is worthy of being labeled America? Please tell me how in any way you embody what is great about America or even what is unique about America. I doubt that you can or more likely… Read more »

Greg Parker

Craft Is Dead, Drink Indie Beer

Indie: cool short-hand for independent, right? Yes, and more. Indie implies a bit of a could-give-a-shit view of what is practical, popular and wise. Indie is a freedom of choice. The early punk rockers didn’t consult with their producer and record labels to determine what kind of music they should be making, they didn’t have… Read more »

Greg Parker

You won’t be getting the beer you want

Perhaps you don’t care about why not. Maybe you shouldn’t. However, I am going to attempt to convince you that you should. Iron Horse is running out of beer right now and it will be felt all over, but it will be felt in the worst way by our own pub. I won’t digress into… Read more »

Greg Parker

it’s nothing personal about your dog…

Let me save you the trouble. I know I am an idiot for adding food. I know I am a jerk for banning dogs from the pub. I know that it is a stupid business move to piss off our local bars and restaurants as well as our own customers and their dogs. If I… Read more »

Greg Parker

Failing the Iron Horse Way

“I’m a winner because I f*#%ing win” – Kenny Powers Following that logic; “We’re losers because we lost.” – Greg Parker. We lost. We failed. We swam out past the buoys, got over our tips, bit off more than we could chew. At what, you might ask? The coffee stand. We’ve sold it. We lost… Read more »

Greg Parker

seven best/worst sellouts of 2015

best/worst craft beer sellouts of 2015 according to Greg Parker Best *And by best I mean the least worst or most inevitable and thereby the brewery was kind of scummy from day one. Full Sail, they may have turned their backs on the consumer, but at least everyone at the company got a vote. Golden Road,… Read more »

Greg Parker

In the name of Craft Beer, sabotage the sell-outs

  Why consolidation is bad for Craft Beer and why you should actively sabotage brands that have sold out. It undermines the craft movement Craft beer, in the mind of the consumer, is made by small, independent brewers in small batches. And no, this is not my opinion, this is the opinion of 1,000 craft… Read more »

Greg Parker

Top 4 Reasons to Support the Small Brew Act.

Every so often, a bit of esoteric legislation comes along that would be a major benefit to a particular industry and people in that industry try to present the information in a way that will motivate their consumers to care. This is what I’m attempting to do right now. If you haven’t already given up… Read more »

Greg Parker

On Selling Out

When I think about the craft beer world, I think of community. When Elysian sold to Anheuser-Busch Inbev, Elysian’s community exploded. People have been spewing hate in any way they can find. I see the rebuttals from the defenders of Elysian’s actions and many of them attempt to bring the attackers rationale into question by… Read more »

Greg Parker

Movie Screening-Where The Trail Ends April 15. @ [the pub]

http://www.wherethetrailends.com/ Let me summarize this for you. 1. Drink Beer 2. Watch a sweet ass mountain bike movie 3. Spend a little coin on raffle tickets, which could end up making you money if you end up winning some of the dopest swag available. (that may or may not have been an exaggeration) 4. Support… Read more »

Greg Parker

We all get a medal, congratulations

Many wonder why IHB doesn’t enter beer in competitions, here’s why: It probably started with BeerAdvocate. I appreciate that their motto is respect beer. Which makes sense. Kind of like when I want to respect women, I gather a bunch of them up and have them stand there while me and a bunch of my… Read more »

Greg Parker

“So what if I have no commercial brewing experience?”

Not surprisingly, my dad felt my dismissal of what every bank under the sun considers the most fundamental requirement for business lending; industry experience, as something that must not be ignored. So, we struck up a partnership with the previous owner and founder of Iron Horse Brewery, Jim Quilter. Jim was what many would envision… Read more »

Greg Parker

The Beer is First

While you may have noticed that we at Iron Horse Brewery take a pretty irreverent approach and put emphasis on many things that seemingly have nothing to do with beer, like the platypus, we’ve always been beer first. It isn’t for the purpose of the sales pitch, but it sure makes a good one, that… Read more »

Greg Parker

I’ve Made a Huge Mistake

It was a nice sunday afternoon, mid 80s, and we had just gotten back from a failed family hike, which they usually are. I picked a trail that was about 15% grade, no real destination and little shade.  Grousing from a 6 and 9 year old is pretty much mandatory at that point. Since it… Read more »

Greg Parker

Why? or What Does it All Mean?

I have struggled for a few years trying to make sense of life. since, for me, the suggestion of a benevolent higher power has never given me any comfort, I had to come up with something more tangible; To enjoy the gift of life and support and encourage others to do the same. And Pure-Being… Read more »

Greg Parker

Win-Win

Most of my days are devoted to finding win-win outcomes. Everybody serves themselves, what an individual in my position must do is foster and describe situations in which someone is able to feel they have gotten what they always wanted while providing benefit to the brewery. The secret to finding a win-win, in my estimation,… Read more »

Greg Parker

Inside Baseball – Part Two

I last left you with an objective view of the two organizations that are responsible for fighting/marketing on behalf of Washington beer. Here is where I get political. While I love being able to call myself a ‘Washington Beer Commissioner’ and not have it be some made up title but a state-government recognized position, it… Read more »

Greg Parker

Quintessentially Craft

In times of immense change, such as the post-brewery expansion world, I like to remind people of the things that aren’t going to change. We will continue to hate tv and not have them in our establishments, ever. We will continue to not give a shit about winning awards, unless of course they are people’s… Read more »

Greg Parker

The Competitive Disadvantage

F*%!in’ Taxes. All but 10% of our total beer produced is sold in Washington. We are proud of this fact. Years ago a friend of mine at Bozeman Brewing told me “take care of your local market, if you let that go, you will likely fail”. I took that to heart and we have attempted… Read more »

Greg Parker

Craft Beer Hits 5%! Is it Good, Bad or Both?

or, what to make of all this growth? i posted this question on facebook thinking to myself, it’s both; good because craft beer is growing it’s market share and more citizens are drinking good, american beer and bad because 5% is a painfully small amount. as evidenced by the comments on the post, others were… Read more »

Greg Parker

Part 2; This Beer Tastes Like Shit

In the initial installment, I , Greg, talked about differences in tastes and perception and other things that really have no defined correct position and therefore saved myself from having to defend my position. I left the part where we discuss the technical side of beer to Tyson. Good luck, buddy. So Tyson, as difficult… Read more »

Greg Parker

PART 1: ‘This beer tastes like shit!’

Response; “Lady, there are two things I know, one with certainty, one with near certainty. My beer does not taste like shit (certainty), and you don’t really know what shit tastes like (can’t be certain of that). This was an actual exchange I had with a person at a brewers night at one of our… Read more »

Greg Parker

my attempt at becoming the holiday cheermeister

This time of year I always feel like Scrooge, and often get accused of being a Scrooge. I don’t buy anything for anyone other than my wife and my kids (although last year, my kids got nothing from me). The usual question “are you ready for christmas?!” that passes for conversation causes my skin to… Read more »

Greg Parker

Good Beer Citizen

Good Beer Citizen: Why do so many beer line ups look largely the same? Or, doing your part for craft beer. If you are like me… never mind, by this time in my life I have realized that, thankfully, there are not many people like me.  Thankfully for society I mean.  But, if we do… Read more »