Iron Horse Brewery in Ellensburg, WA
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Rooting for Awkwardness

Ross Chalstrom
POSTED BY
Ross Chalstrom February 6th 2016

As a Seahawks fan, I was obviously bummed they decided to take a collective dump during the first half of the Carolina contest and, as a result, didn’t make the big game.  Oh well, they used to suck, and now they’re relevant, so there’s a silver lining.  Now, unlike the last two years, I have to figure out some team or something to root for.  Broncos or Panthers?  Gross.  The washed up QB with a noodle arm, or the rising star who loves nothing more than running away from teammates to celebrate his greatness alone?  Ummm, neither thank you.  

Apparently nothing connected to the game itself makes me happy, so I’m rooting for awkwardness.  Fortunately the Super Bowl is full of it.  Outside the stadium, we can all imagine scores of   middle aged men clutching a football to reenact their favorite plays while wearing a jersey of their team’s star player.  On TV, we see the NFL pay lip service to stopping domestic violence, while actual punishments for beating their girlfriends or wives remain light at best.

On the field, we have concussion protocols for a sport that produces them at an alarming rate.  But trust us, we care about the players’ health, so much so that we think 18 regular season games is a great idea.  Makes sense.  Okay, enough of that, I’m stepping off my soapbox now.  I’ve decided to root for another equipment malfunction, a la Janet Jackson, during the halftime show.  I’m not even asking for an entire nipple this time.  Just something memorable that brings myself and others joy, possibly a fart from Beyonce picked up by a mic.

One other thing I’m looking for, less commercials from Budweiser (actually AB-InBEV).  Claiming that you brew the hard way, while using imagery that I’m guessing is supposed to make viewers yearn for a bygone era, but instead just makes the company appear to be against diversity.  Back when there was only one style of beer to drink and stupid small businesses weren’t complicating things.  You know, making consumers question what ingredients were used and where the money they spend is actually going (answer: Sao Paolo).  Now that I think about it, I’m rooting for more of these commercials, because they make people realize just how ridiculous their whole patriotic schtick really is.

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Big Game Beer Dip

Rikki Welz
POSTED BY
Rikki Welz February 4th 2016

Hey All!

Here is the written version of my super secret, super difficult, super foodie dip recipes. You’re welcome.

 

Beer/Cheese/Chili dip

Ingredients:
1 brick of “Cheese Product” (the closer related to plastic, the better!)
1 can of chili
2 cans of Double Rainbow India Red Ale Red IPA Hoppy Red Beer (24oz of 509 ale would also be fabulous, for a less intense flavor)
1 crock pot

Process:
Cut the cheese. Blame it on the dog. Then, slice the brick of cheese product into ½ inch cubes, toss into crock pot. If the cheese becomes difficult and sticks to your knife, run it under hot water, and slice some more.

Open can of chili. Dump contents into crock pot. Open 1 can of Double Rainbow. Consume. Or, consume 12 oz of 509.

Heat contents on high for 30 minutes, or until melted, stirring every 10ish minutes. Basically, don’t let it burn.

Once the mixture has melted and mixed well, pour in the other can of Double Rainbow. Stir well, continue to let the mixture warm. Once the dip has reached it’s ideal consistency, switch the pot to warm, and eat eat eat.

 

Rikki’s “dip”

Ingredients:
1 regular can of vegetarian refried beans
2 large avocados
2 tablespoons of lemon juice
½ packet of taco seasoning
1 pint of sour cream
cheddar cheese, that you shred (enough for a layer, you decide how much)
1 small tomato
a few green onions (garnish)
Fritos scoops (the only chip strong enough to work)
1 pie plate

Process:
Layer 1 – Empty can of refried beans on to the pie plate. Spread the beans evenly across the bottom of the plate. Make many references to the fire scene in Blazing Saddles.
Layer 2 – Safely peel and pit avocados into a separate bowl. Mush avocado with lemon juice. Small chunks are awesome, keep the consistency to a slightly chunky guacamole. Spread the mixture on top of the refried beans in the pie plate.
Layer 3 – Mix the pint of sour cream with the ½ packet of taco seasoning. Spread the mixture on top of the guacamole layer on the plate.
Layer 4 – Shred the cheddar cheese. Spread on top. The layer can be as thick or thin as you prefer. I’m a fan of cheese, so I load that sucker up until you can’t even see the sour cream mixture.
Layer 5 – Dice tomato and green onion, spread on top of cheese.

Then, using your strong chip, scoop in and enjoy. Pairing options include 509, Double Rainbow, IPA, Skittles, Steven Hauschka’s foot odor, and everything in the Iron Horse book. Or Rainier. Don’t tell Greg.

 

Bonus!
Rikki’s brother Dave’s “dip”. Same idea, different process, more spice.

The brother to the other dip, if you will. Both based on our mother’s dip. The Welz family loves their dips. Dip Dip Dip
Layer 1- Pre made cheesy bean dip, mixed with taco bell brand taco sauce
Layer 2- Pre made guacamole
Layer 3- Same as Rikki’s layer 3
Layer 4- Pre shredded cheese (blend of cheddar and mozzarella cheeses)
Layer 5- Same as Rikki’s layer 5

 

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Billings: The Final Frontier.

Jared Vallejo
POSTED BY
Jared Vallejo February 4th 2016

No, not a set of actions where we send paper invoices to collect money for “unmentionable services”. The town, in Montana; That’s what we’re talking about.
We’re opening up that market.

Iron Horse Brewery Does Fun Things in New Market
Iron Horse Beer is available in Billings, That’s a New Market we have. You’re welcome.

ELLENSBURG, WA (February 3, 2016) Due to an unyielding urge to get more craft beer in more human’s mouths, Iron Horse Brewery has decided to bring IHB brews to Billings, Mont. Billings’ unique blend of rural meets college town makes this a great match. Intermountain Distributing is doing all the heavy lifting because of their vast expertise in servicing craft beer in the area.

“I drove from Bozeman to Billings one time for homebrew supplies. It was worth it.” said Owner and General Manager, Greg Parker. “Now it’s time to return the goods in the form of beer,” Parker added.

Iron Horse Brewery Frolicsomeness
A crew of humans from IHB will be in Billings Feb. 9 through Feb. 11 to promote their beer and more importantly having fun.

Opportunities to Form an Opinion on Iron Horse Beers
Tuesday, February 9th:
Pub Station – Irish Death, Mocha Death, IPA, and Double Rainbow draft tasting. It’s open mic night; They will be singing all of Mariah Carey’s biggest hits.
7:00 – 9:00 p.m.

Wednesday, February 10th:
Bones Arcade – Irish Death draft tasting. Finger Gun IPA and Double Rainbow can tasting. Come down and challenge them in head to head Arcade action.
7:00 – 9:00 p.m.

Thursday, February 11th:
The Vig Alehouse – Irish Death draft tasting. Finger Gun IPA and Double Rainbow can tasting.
7:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m.

“Oh, hey, I’ll actually be there”, said Ross Chalstrom, interloper of press release quotes.

About Iron Horse Brewery
Centrally located in Ellensburg, WA, Iron Horse Brewery is owned by father-son team Gary and Greg Parker. The brewery has been producing hand crafted ales since 2004 and is growing at a pace they probably cannot handle. If for some reason you’re still still reading this and you’d like to learn more about the brewery, visit www.ironhorsebrewery.com.

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Failing the Iron Horse Way

Greg Parker
POSTED BY
Greg Parker February 3rd 2016

“I’m a winner because I f*#%ing win” – Kenny Powers

Following that logic;

“We’re losers because we lost.” – Greg Parker.

We lost. We failed. We swam out past the buoys, got over our tips, bit off more than we could chew.

At what, you might ask? The coffee stand. We’ve sold it. We lost untold fortunes trying to bring delicious espresso to the citizens of Ellensburg and the IHB brewing team. Is it because we suck? I don’t know. I’m hoping it was because it was a doomed location but I’m guessing it’s more complicated than that. If you are at all inclined to feel sad or sympathetic, do not, I like to fail. Crashing brings clarity. Whenever I fall there is the moment before impact where I analyze the steps that brought me to where I am. Here is a list of my common mistakes, in no particular order

-not consulting with people who know what they are doing
-not consulting with the people who will be responsible for carrying out the mission
-overconfidence
-overconfidence
-lack of thorough planning
-lack of execution on plan
-inability to focus and see projects through to completion
-trying to keep up with people that are more skilled than I

Why am I telling you all this? Probably because that’s the Iron Horse way. We’re not so special and precious that we need to pretend to be perfect. We don’t feel that we are better than anybody and talking about our failures is a good way to remind ourselves of that.  I also figure there are enough people out there that think I’m a pompous jerk and this will give them a little dose of the schadenfreude they so desire. Yeah, well blow it out your ass haters.

“Anger is an acid that does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured” – Mark Twain

If you have been a supporter of the Iron Horse Coffee Co., thank you. We have selected new owners that we think are worthy of your continued support.

Does anyone know anything about hair salons? That seems like a promising next venture for Iron Horse.

 

 

note: the iron horse coffee stand will stop being the iron horse coffee stand on february 15th. fact.

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We’re Hiring Humans

Suzanne Vargas
POSTED BY
Suzanne Vargas January 28th 2016

Iron Horse Brewery will be hiring for a variety of positions at our pub location within the kitchen and front of the house. We are looking for reliable and motivated  candidates, 21.1 years and older, that have a strong interest and desire to work within the craft beer field.

As a group we are committed to bringing beers and experiences to the market that are not standard, not corporate, and above all exceptional.   It is of utmost importance that everyone who works for Iron Horse has, or is pursuing, a comprehensive understanding of craft beer and especially Iron Horse beer.

As a company, we care about our employees. We expect the employees to care about the company as well. Employees are offered health benefits, IRA, Beer (obviously), discounts,  and competitive pay.

Do you like beer? Do you like food? Are you a reliable? Are you a warrior princess? Do you have an interest in joining us? Are you a caring human being? Are you interested in joining us? If you answered yes to most of the previous questions then plan to join us for a job fair at [ the pub ] Wednesday 2/10  between 2:00pm and 5:00pm or Thursday 2/11 between 11:00am and 2:00pm. There will be representatives from the front of the house looking for servers to add to their team. The kitchen representatives will be looking for experienced cooks and other back of the house help. Pick which department interests you and come prepared with a resume, toothbrush, cover letter, and detailed schedule of availability through July 2016.

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The Art of Pickin’ up Chicks at Beer Festivals

Marissa
POSTED BY
Marissa January 26th 2016

Beer festivals are a great way to mingle with friends, meet people, and try new beers. With the craft beer world being slightly overrun with the male specimen, beer festivals tend to be a buncha dudes seeing how many 5 oz. pours they can slug down before losing their glass and starting an intimate wrestling match with each other.

When a group of single women show up to a festival suddenly each and every one of them is the the muse behind “ms new booty,” and they have most definitely been found. Being a bystander behind the taps, I watch it all go down and find it quite hilarious. It’s more entertaining and quite frankly equivalent to watching National Geographic. Below are some real-life examples of things I have heard at festivals. This is not meant to be inspiration, let it be known that not one of these pick-up lines ended with a number exchange. 

  1. “You’re a 7.5 but your personality makes you a 10.”
  2. “You’re really exotic…what are you?”– um, human?
  3. Don’t compare a woman to an Ostrich just because they have long limbs. This is not a compliment. Actually, don’t compare any woman to an animal. It usually won’t turn out in your favor.
  4. “Wow you’re so pretty, you kinda look like my mom.”
  5. “You MUST have a nice personality.”
  6. “You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.”
  7. “I see you plucked your eyebrows today, they look really nice.”
  8. “You would make a very handsome man….”
  9. “You have really beautiful friends. What are their names, are they single?”
  10. “I put the STD in stud all I need is you.”

 

OK, the last one on the list I might’ve just added for fun.

Next time you’re at a festival, remember my words. If you’re trying to pick up on the ladies, don’t compare them to their mother, say nothing about their brothers, and make sure you’re not trying to hit on their friends. Follow these rules and you’ll be set. you’re welcome.

xoxo Marty

IHB MENU
Washington State Brewery, Iron Horse Brewery is the best local craft brewery located in Ellensburg, WA with Iron Horse Brewery beer being served in Seattle, Kirkland, Bellevue, Tacoma, Redmond, Spokane, Yakima, Richland, Moses Lake, Ephrata, and more Washington State cities.

As a local craft brewery, iron horse brewery believes that good tasting beer, such as, Quilters Irish Death, Mocha Death, 509 Style, Light Rale Ale, Cozy Sweater, High Five Hefe and IPA should be served throughout the pacific northwest. It can supplement meals too.