Glassware and Beer: The Definitive Guide, sans Definitive or Guide.

I’ve been told I had to write a blog by this guy.

In spite of the sweet denim unitard, I have acquiesced and am writing something, which is pretty obvious because you are probably reading as we speak. I asked for some subject ideas and was told to write about stuff that bugs me and, since I’m easily annoyed and probably a bit (or a lot) self-righteous, I figured it would be an easy subject. I am, however, going to have to break it categories because we don’t have enough time to cover it all at once.

So yeah, Glassware.

Okay, it seems like a stupid thing to get worked up about but it is somewhat important. I’m somewhat of a traditionalist and believe that the only way to drink a beer is from a pint glass. Especially the thin glass ones with the spare tire looking bulge that is common in the UK. There are two polar extremes from the middle ground that is the pint glass, straight from the bottle or can and uppity ass winey type glasses, and many in between. I’ll be the first to admit that you can’t always access a pint glass and you must get at the sweet nectar within (Rule #1- no glass is better than no beer).

On the other side are the tulip glasses and other wine type glasses. I’m sorry but we must fight this trend. Yes, they do enhance flavor and aroma but at the expense of looking like a douche. We must not elevate beer above the people who drink it. The wine industry did this and have been fighting to appeal to a wider audience ever since (Rule #2- Don’t be a douche).

Worse than the wine glasses are the pilsner glasses that have all the douchiness (I bring Heineken to parties because it makes me classy) of a wine glass with no benefit of aroma and flavor enhancement. (Rule#3- Don’t be a douche).

I haven’t come close to covering it all but I should wrap it up. So I will close with one of my biggest glassware annoyances- frosted glasses. Please, please don’t drink beer from frozen glasses. You can’t fully appreciate the work that goes into a beer and all the flavors that are produced with super cold beer. Let it warm a bit and you will get a whole different level of experience. Frozen glasses keep the volatiles in solution and you never get to experience them. I’m not saying you should drink warm beer just not ice cold. If you feel like your beer tastes gross at warmer than frostbite temperature, than maybe you should realize that your beer sucks and you should find a new one. (Rule#4- If it’s not Boones Farm, let it warm up a bit)

One last thing, mugs of any kind should not be used to…. …………………………………………………….. …Censored by IHB marketing

That is all.

Tyson

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

HUMAN DETECTOR *