Salutations, fellow fussy drinkers who like to dissect flavors in their beers! Welcome to the Bacon-Festivus-Beer Extravaganza, with your local Certified Cicerone®.
Today’s subject is a personal favorite near and dear to my heart. The true reason I could never be a vegetarian and the reason why Charlotte’s Web was my favorite book as a child.
Bacon. Oh bacon… you wonderful, sweet yet salty, flavorful mistress, how I adore thee. You make every food better, and you make every meal happier. You’re the craft beer of the animal world. I would like to consume you with each meal of the day. And I will, darn it! I love being an adult making not adult decisions… Here’s a good way to spend an entire day, savoring the goodness of bacon, while also celebrating everyone’s favorite televised holiday, Festivus!
Breakfast- Biscuits with Bacon Gravy, and a Light Rail Ale
- Here’s what I do. Fry up some bacon nice and crisp (4 pieces works just fine for a two person portion of gravy). Remove bacon from pan, retain the drippings. For every tablespoon of grease, whisk in a tablespoon of flour. Then whisk in about a cup of milk for every tablespoon of the initial grease. Add it slowly, whisk constantly. Once the gravy is at your desired consistency, crumble some bacon into the gravy, mix well, and serve over biscuits. Also serve with more bacon, eggs, and your choice of fruit. Sausage too. Potatoes if you’re daring. Season with Salt and Pepper as desired.
- Pair this hearty breakfast with a pint of our Light Rail Ale. If it feels too early for a full pint, make a Radler out of it (half light rail, half lemon soda), and dig the aluminum pole from your attic. Leave the tinsel, it’s distracting.
Mid Morning Snack- Grilled Canadian Bacon and Pineapple, paired with High Five Hefe.
- Get some Canadian bacon, and pineapple slices. Fry ’em up either in a pan, or cooked on the grill, and enjoy!
- High five yourself physically and also beverage wise on making it through breakfast without a nap, and enjoy this mini dessert and beer. you’ve earned it. Begin forming your grievances.
Lunch- BLATB with 509
- Assemble Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato, Avocado, and more Bacon, in sandwich form (between toasted bread slices, mayo optional).
- Bite, Chew, Swallow, Drink 509, and repeat. You got a few healthy things squeezed in there. good job! A toast to the fine farmers in our area who inspired our 509, and whose bounty is feeding us right now.
Afternoon Snack- Double Rainbow and Double Bacon
- Grab two ounces of sliced cooked bacon. Also grab a deuce deuce of the Double Rainbow (returning soon!). Enjoy together.
- Try dunking in a slice of bacon in the beer, or perhaps, making a bacon straw to drink the double rainbow from. It’s all good, we don’t judge. harshly. A toast to Wilbur, who really was “Some Pig.”
Afternoon Drink- Bloody Mary made with Iron Horse IPA, with Bacon Strip Garnish
- my favorite beeroness recipe. Actually, all of her recipes are my favorite recipes. that lady knows stuff, man. my only addition/substitution? Add bacon strips.
- Recipe here.
- A toast to the Beeroness, who showed us b-j’s and shoe shopping are deeper than we could have imagined.
Dinner- Bacon Wrapped Prime Rib with Irish Death
- Recipe here.
- I just wept with joy while reading this recipe. Thank you google. I hope you all experienced the same life altering smack in the head like I just did. I love the interwebs.
- Serve with a loaded baked potato (with bacon bits!), sauteed garlic bacon green beans, and why not another few slices of bacon. There’s no room at this table for quitters.
- The Irish Death will support you on the tail end of this momentous occasion, keeping you at peace with the world around you.
- Now is your time for the Airing of Grievances. These people have disappointed you, now let them have it!
Dessert- Chocolate Covered Bacon strips, with Mocha Death.
- Pretty self explanatory here. go to a fondue bar. steal the chocolate fountain. load the fountain into your passenger seat trying hard not lose any of the chocolate. Buckle it up, safety first! fry/bake/broil up your bacon, and go to town with this sinful duo.
- As an alternative, you can use the chocolate and bacon and some vanilla ice cream and make yourself a decadent sundae! Maybe splash some Kahlua on top. Treat yo’ self!
- After dinner and dessert, everyone should be good and warmed up, primed, ready to fight. The Feats of Strength may now begin. Let’s rumble.
- When the head of household has been taken down, it is time to toast your Mocha Death to your friends, your family, your frenemies, and your grade school teacher (here’s to you, Mrs. Smith!) who showed you how to love a book like a friend.