DISCLAIMER: It’s common knowledge that women don’t fart, poop or God forbid, shart. So the following is based off research I have done, NOT my own experience.
A couple weeks ago we received the following message:
I’ll state the fact outright, I love your beer “Irish death,” and this email is no way complaining about the amazing beer you produce. The thing is that every time I drink your beer I have the most putrid vile farts the day after consuming. It’s crazy, the smell is pungent and lingers for 10 minutes or so. It’s almost as lethal as Sarin Gas. I’ve even gagged on my my own farts as a resultant. Never has a beer traveled through my digestive track and produced that stench. This email is to let you know I’ve successfully lit my own fart on fire from this noxious brew. You guys must be utterly genius for this new exploration into a fuel that could possibly challenge the fuels that feed our internal combustion engines these days. I love your beer, it just turns me a bit away that when I expel gas every other person around me must evacuate for fear of death. You’re team is great.
Fuck those people, they will experience the annihilation farts and they will remember them.
Obviously this message made our day but it posed a question, why is it that we (and by we I mean men of course) get the beer farts?
Let’s start with why we pass gas in the first place. A toot is trapped air escaping our bodies. Whenever we eat, we swallow air, gas seeps into our intestines from our blood and some gas is produced by chemical reactions in our intestines or bacteria living in our guts. This gas/air must leave the body and it does so through your sin socket. Typically a fluff is about 59% nitrogen, 21% hydrogen, 9% carbon dioxide, 7% methane and 4% oxygen. Funny enough only about 1% of farts contain hydrogen sulfide gas which is what makes farts smelly.
So why does beer in particular seem to make some especially gassy? Beer makes your farts smellier because of the sulfate in it. Sulfur-containing chemicals can be found in DMS, malt, yeast and even hops. Obviously drinking involves swallowing air that has to come out eventually too. Drinking beer releases carbon dioxide gas which builds up in your gut. Beer consumption results in bloating and excess gas because it causes yeast overgrowth in the intestinal tract. Heavy or complex beers (i.e. Irish Death) are more likely to cause flatulence as they contain more complex sugars and live yeast to bind with those sugars. The digestive system isn’t as easily able to digest those complex beers. For most people (and by people I mean men) this means passing not so good smelling wind.
Beer can have serious effects if dealing with an intestine related disease or disorder. Beer can worsen ulcers and aggravate acid reflux, but for healthy humans, rectal turbulence might just be an unavoidable side effect of drinking the good stuff. So take a Beano, grab a beer and celebrate your body’s natural mechanisms.