*Originally written by Terreal Brown
I am “your friendly, neighborhood beer(ded) man.” *A triple combination: Spiderman, beer and beard pun that doubles as a blasphemy to grammar.
In hindsight, I should have done some market research on that one before getting it printed on a thousand business cards. Too late now!
Good thing I have some other job titles with 90’s nostalgia in mind. I simply have to hope Netflix or Disney doesn’t beat me to revival sequels of “The Fresher Prince of Beer-Air” or when this “Cousin Meets World.”
In the meantime, I’ll be slinging brewskis for IHB in Eastern Washington as the market manager. Doing my best to make sure you’re never too far from Irish Death or the other beers Iron Horse makes like Mocha Death, Double Rainbow, Finger Gun etc., I promise you. I’m even in the process of pitching Irish Cream Death for St. Paddy’s & Valentine’s 2018. Wish me luck!
IHB for reasons still under French Canadian investigation thought it would be a good idea to bring me on board. Although we did have to get over the initial misunderstanding of the job description. (I initially thought they were selling Quilter’s Instant Washboard Abs. I was trying to make the cut for Magic Mike: Magnum.)
Now I have to impress people with thoughtful humor, dedication to quality service and the integrity of someone raised by a loving, nurturing family. Sorry. No jokes on that front. My mother is a saint who delivers babies for a living, while my father is an Army vet whose part time job is a college professor. Even my brother sets a high bar as an Air Force crew chief.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, why can’t their contributions to society be as impressive as mine? Unfortunately, we can’t all work for Iron Horse.
But fortunately, we can all enjoy a refreshing Light Rail Ale or High Five Hefe like I did while writing this blog post. Something I hope to share with you soon.
Looking forward to new adventures,
Former Baron Administrator of Cloud City, Wakandan Diplomat and Ambassador to Zamunda, Terreal Brown
*Despite all the humorous self-doubt, I had the foresight to think that convoluted pun through. I’m trying to get a shoe deal with ADIDAS, Nike or Jordan brand by averaging a triple-double on day one. I’m a sneaker-fiend. Exclusive color-ways aren’t cheap.